"Your thumbs move like someone in love."

"Your thumbs move like someone in love."

                 I overheard that one night, and I thought it was awfully cute.   But it also made me think about our current obsession with our damn phones.  Every day I look around the bar, the number is people looking down at their phones  is starting to heavily outweigh the number of people looking up at what's actually going on.  As soon as something happens, it's on facebook, or twitter (its not on myspace though--no one uses that anymore).  It's rather disconcerting, walking through bar after bar and seeing heads down, faces illuminated by the ever present smart phone. 

                What's even more frightening is the ability to track your friends when they "check in" to certain spots.  Hell, on a friday night, I can sit at home with my itunes dance party mix and a glass of my favorite wine (two buck chuck), hop onto facebook and track my friends progress through WeHo.  I don't even have to put on my vintage boots or skinny jeans, and it's like I'm there!  Starting usually at a dive bar (you know, Gold Coast, Motherlode, Trunks) for the cheap drinks, then to their next stop, usually for a better looking crowd, followed by the dance bar, and ending the night either back at a dive bar, or Los Tacos.  

                While this is all fun and entertaining, does anyone actually think for one second that anybody who "follows" them actually gives a shit?  Are we all arrogant enough to think that the world MUST know where you are and what you're doing at all times?  And honestly, do you WANT the world to know that you just stuffed your face full of burritos at 3am?  I think I'm honest enough with myself to admit that most people don't read anything I post, and I know I really, really, don't care much about what you're doing every five minutes.  Hell, I have most of my friends blocked (and I know you all do too, don't lie).

                The problem we've created is this vicious cycle, where we spend all night updating our facebook and texting our friends, that we forget to actually experience a night out!  And then, when you finally do meet up with someone, you know, in REAL life, you have nothing new or of interest to talk about, because you've spent all night letting people know what you're doing.  But honestly, how are you going to get black-out drunk and wake up with a giant red stop sign, a litter of puppies and 82 packages of instant hot chocolate mix, if you spend all night on the phone?  What's worse is that you don't get to have the dreaded "what the fuck did we do last night?" conversation over bloody marys with your BFF, because all you have to do is look at your facebook and cringe at the drunken pictures you accidentally took and posted.

                Gone are the days of subtle flirting, checking the ring finger for a wedding band (ha, like that matters), and buying your lastest trick a drink.  Apparently, it's all about sexting and passive aggresive facebook status updates.  Now when I go to a bar and order my Absolut Citron Tom Collins (with a lemon and a lime), I look at the speed of which the boy's thumbs move, and whether theres a slightly mischievous grin on his face when he hears the tell-tale "ding ding" from a text message. 

                Put down your phones boys.  That neon blue radiating from your phone is so not flattering. 

                Lord, I need a drink.

                Jesse